My best friend was sad after losing their leg in an accident, but I assured them it would all be alright. I said, “You still have me to lean on.”
My friend got mad when I made fun of their fear of palindromes. So I told them, “Yell all you want, I won’t stop making fun of you. Live evil, have no fear—I’m a fool, Madam!”
My friend works part-time at the library shelving books. They’re my read-a-buddy.
My friend was struggling with their Spanish homework, so I said “Amigo, I gotchu fam.”
When my friend told me they were applying to be an electrician, I said “Watt are you talking about? That sounds shocking!”
When my clumsy friend broke their glasses, I said “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. You can always contact lens.”
My paranoid friend carries a small notebook to write down everything we say when we hang out. I guess you could call it a buddy log.
When my friend became obsessed with digging holes in their backyard, I told them “Buddy, you’ve got a real problem in your hole life.”
My friend got a job testing different brands of potato chips. Their title is Quality Crunch Buddy.
When my friend wanted to open a bakery, I warned them “These puns are just the icing on the cake for how difficult running a business buddy.
Friend One-Liners
I asked my friend, “What’s up?” They said, “The sky.”
I told my friend I was reading a book about anti-gravity and they asked, “Is it impossible to put down?”
My friend said they were starving, but we had just eaten an hour ago. I told them “Hello starving, I’m buddy!”
My friend wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I said “Talk to me buddy!” but they remained silent.
My friend asked to copy my homework. I said “That’s cheating, buddy.”
My friend loves to talk and said they wanted to be an auctioneer. I told them “Sold, buddy!”
My friend kept making ocean puns. I told them “Water you doing, buddy?”
My friend was shaking from too much coffee. I told them “Take a chill buddy, it’s just caffeine.”
My friend wouldn’t stop singing in public. I said “That’s enough buddy, you’re embarrassing me.”
Best Friend Jokes
My best friend is like a brother to me. Literally – we have the same parents.
My best friend and I decided to start a band called ‘Lost Dog’. You wouldn’t believe the amount of missing pet posters we got from that name.
My best friend growing up had a stutter. Some bullies made fun of it, but I would finish his sentences for him. We were inseparable – I was his verbal buddy system.
My best friend is completely paranoid about the government spying on them. So I humor them and pretend to be a secret agent. I’ll call them up and say “Agent Buddy, your cover has been compromised! Abort friendship!”
My childhood best friend and I had an odd way of making decisions. We would take turns smacking each other in the face until one person gave up. As you can imagine, I have a permanently crooked nose from being her slap buddy.
My best friend loves telling stories that never actually happened. So I always respond with “Oh yeah, I remember that!” and add even more outrageous details. We call it buddy fiction.
My best friend has never been able to smell. They say it doesn’t bother them, but I always feel guilty when I eat snacks around them. So now I just loudly announce “Mmm, I love the smell of these chips, buddy!”
My best friend and I came up with a genius way to cheat on exams in school. We would text each other the answers by sending the wrong contact name. So if the answer was A, I would text them “Hey grandma, how’s your hip feeling?” Worked every time. We were cheating buddies.
In college, my best friend and I realized we were both writing papers on the same obscure topic. Since both papers were due the next day, we decided to just combine our research and write one epic paper together. Let’s just say the professor was not amused by our buddy system.
My childhood best friend was my next door neighbor. We came up with a secret code to communicate through the wall by tapping messages to each other. My parents could never figure out why I would randomly start knocking on the wall. We were wall tap buddies.
