Food Puns (20)
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
- A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
- What do you call a dog that eats fast food? A hot dog.
- What do you call an apology written in sauce? Re-gravy.
- What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
- What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
- My friend got hit in the head by a can of soda, but he was lucky it was a soft drink.
- I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I’ll let you know.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d crack each other up!
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- What has T upper case and lower case in the middle, but nothing else in between? A teapot.
- I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
- I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. But if anything, it only made him more sluggish.
- My friend got a personal trainer for his broken leg. He’s hoping to make a full recovery.
- What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen!
Food One-Liners (15)
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
- My wife said I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and right.
- I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
- My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
- I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
- This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
- I got a dog from the blacksmith the other day…they said it was a golden retriever.
- Parallel lines have so much in common, but it’s just a shame they’ll never meet.
- A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here? “
- Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn’t the monster, wisdom is knowing Frankenstein IS the monster.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
- I had to quit my job as a notice writer. Too much fine print.
- You know, people say they pick their nose…but I feel like I was just born with mine.
- My daughter thinks I don’t give her enough privacy. At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
Best Food Jokes (24)
36. A family walks into a restaurant and the son asks his father “Dad, why does the food take so long here?” The dad explains “Well son, the chef likes to take his time to put love into the food.” The son replies “I’m hungry dad, not lonely!”
37. What do you get when you put three ducks in a box? A box of quackers!
38. What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
39. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.
40. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d crack each other up!
41. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it!
42. Want to hear a pizza joke? Eh, it’s pretty cheesy.
43. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
44. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
45. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
46. Why should you not iron a 4 leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck!
47. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds!
48. I entered 10 puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
49. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d crack each other up!
50. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!
51. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
52. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
53. Why was the tomato red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
54. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on it!
55. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
56. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
57. I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I’ll let you know.
58. What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen!
59. I threw a boomerang a few years ago and now I live in constant fear.
