Bread Puns
1. I knead to make some bread puns today. It’s the yeast I could dough.
2. What did the bread say when it was being baked? I’m getting toastie in here!
3. Why was the bread thrown out of the restaurant? It was loafing around.
4. The bakery owner fired his employee for stealing bread. It was grounds for doughmestic.
5. I bread you’d like these funny puns. Let’s get this show on the loaf!
6. I’m on a bread hunt today to find the best puns. You butter believe it!
7. What did the bread say to the butter? I loaf you a loaf!
8. The best thing since sliced bread? These amazing bread puns!
9. I wanted to make French bread puns but this ain’t my first baguette.
10. These bread puns are sure to get a rise out of you!
11. What did one slice of bread say to the other? Let’s split!
12. My friend got angry when I made too many bread puns. What a crumby attitude!
13. I wanted to make a bread joke but it’s stale.
14. Bread puns are a piece of cake for me!
15. What did the baker say when he ran out of flour? This is the last loaf I’ll ever make!
16. My friend keeps telling me bread puns over and over. I wish he would quit loafing around.
17. Did you hear about the baker who stole money from his business? He was caught taking dough!
18. I wanted to tell more bread jokes but I’m already toast!
19. What do you call a bread shop thief slipping away in the night? A midnight loaf-er!
20. Why was the bread crying? It kneaded a shoulder to rye on.
Bread One-Liners
21. I’m on a roll with these bread puns today.
22. This baker really kneads to improve his bread puns.
23. My friend baked some awful bread puns. They were pretty crumby.
24. I wanted to make a bread joke but it’s stale.
25. Bread puns don’t have a crust chance of being funny.
26. What a waste of bread!
27. You butter believe I’ve got some great bread puns today!
28. That’s using your noodle!
29. This baker is on a roll with hilarious bread puns.
30. My friend keeps baking up lame bread puns.
31. Bread puns are my bread and butter!
32. I’m really on a roll today with these bread jokes!
33. Quit loafing around and listen to my bread puns!
34. Bread puns never get stale for me!
35. What a crumby bread joke.
36. I wanted to make a bread joke but it’s stale.
Best Bread Jokes
37. A man walked into a bakery and picked up a loaf of bread. “Excuse me,” he said to the owner, “How much is this loaf of bread?” The owner replied, “That’ll be $3.” The man responded, “But I only have $2, could you lower the price?” The owner said “Sorry, the price is $3.” The man then asked “If I can walk around the block with this loaf of bread on my head without it falling off, will you give it to me for $2?” The owner agreed to the deal. The man walked around the block with the bread perfectly balanced on his head, returned to the bakery and gave the owner $2. When the owner expressed surprise that the bread didn’t fall, the man replied “Well, I guess you could say I have ex-crust-iating attention to de-tail!”
38. A woman went into a bakery and asked for a loaf of bread shaped like a car. The baker looked confused but said he would try his best. After working for hours, he presented her with a loaf of bread that was vaguely shaped like a sedan. The woman shook her head and said, “No, this isn’t what I wanted at all! I asked for a loaf of bread shaped like a Ferrari!” The baker sighed and said, “Lady, I’m a baker, not an auto body shop!”
39. Why was the bread embarrassed? It saw the muffin’s buns.
40. How does Moses make his bread? With Hebrews!
41. Why was the bread disqualified from the race? It was loafing around.
42. What did the bread say while sunbathing on the beach? “I wanna get toast!”
43. Why did the two pieces of bread run into each other? They were loafing in the same direction.
44. Why did the bakery thief get away? Because he made off with the dough!
45. My friend got angry when I made too many bread puns. What a crumby attitude!
46. Why couldn’t the bread tie its shoes? It didn’t have any laces – just crust!
47. Why did the customer get kicked out of the bakery? He raised a bunch of crusty issues.
48. Why was the bread crying? Because it was in a loaf of trouble.
49. Why was the bread so tough and chewy? It just needed more time to rise.
50. Why did the two pieces of bread run into each other? They were loafing in the same direction.
51. How does an ambitious baker move up the career ladder? They take it one loaf at a time!
52. Why was the bread thrown out of the restaurant? It was loafing around.
53. What do you call a dinosaur that bakes bread? A dino-sourdough!
54. Why was the bread embarrassed? It saw the muffin’s buns.
55. How does Moses make his bread? With Hebrews!
56. Why couldn’t the two pieces of bread date each other? They already had enough crumbs between them.
57. What did one slice of bread say to the other? “Let’s split!”
58. Why did the baker stop making donuts? He wanted to focus on his bread and butter.
59. Why do bakers make terrible dancers? They’re always dropping beats!
60. What do you call a dentist who moonlights as a baker? A filling professional!
61. Why do people say bread is the best thing since sliced bread? Because it’s just that gouda.
62. Why did the bakery owner fire his new employee? He was always loafing around on the job!
63. Why was the bread sweating so much? It was getting grilled with questions.
64. Why did the bakery close early? It ran out of dough!
65. What do you call a bakery during an earthquake? A shake and bake!
66. Why do bakers wear white? Because it’s flour power!
67. Why was the bread seeing a therapist? It had a lot of crumb trauma.
68. Why do people say bread is the best thing since sliced bread? Because it’s just that gouda.
69. Why do people say bread is the best thing since sliced bread? Because it’s just that gouda.
70. Why was the bread seeing a therapist? It had a lot of crumb trauma.
71. What do you call a dentist who moonlights as a baker? A filling professional!
72. Why couldn’t the two pieces of bread date each other? They already had enough crumbs between them.
73. Why did the customer get kicked out of the bakery? He raised a bunch of crusty issues.
74. How does an ambitious baker move up the career ladder? They take it one loaf at a time!
75. What do you call a dinosaur that bakes bread? A dino-sourdough!
76. Why did the bakery owner fire his new employee? He was always loafing around on the job!
77. Why was the bread sweating so much? It was getting grilled with questions.
78. Why did the bakery close early? It ran out of dough!