Ballet Puns
1. I wanted to become a ballet dancer, but I just didn’t have the plié.
2. What did the ballet dancer say when he couldn’t find his shoes? Wherefore art my pointe shoes?
3. Why was the ballet dancer embarrassed? She had a bad barre attitude.
4. Why are ballet dancers bad at math? They are always doing soutenus.
5. Why did the ballet dancer bring gum to class? To improve her chaînés (chainés).
6. How did the clumsy ballerina hurt herself? She fell out of a grande jeté.
7. Why did the ballerina quit her job? She felt like she was always on her toes.
8. Why do ballerinas make bad drivers? They are always cutting people off with their grand battements.
9. How do you fix a broken ballerina? With a tuba glue (tou de glisse).
10. Did you hear about the ballerina who joined the army? She always had perfect arms en bas.
Ballet One-Liners
11. I’m so bad at ballet, I can barely stand on point.
12. The ballerina was feeling blue after being passed over for a role again – it was a real demi-plié.
13. My friend claims she’s a great ballerina, but I think she’s just grande jeté-ing my chain.
14. I was going to make a ballet pun, but I decided to pas de deux on that.
15. The prima ballerina’s world tour was definitely a grand battement for the company.
16. The young dancer got into the ballet academy on a petit allegro.
17. After years of dance, Clara finally achieved her rêverie of becoming a principal ballerina.
18. The ballerina incorporated some hip hop moves into her routine – it was quite the grand écart from tradition.
19. The dancer wasn’t too fondrose of her understudy trying to sous-sus her position.
20. Getting that lead role left the ballerina over the barre and on top of the world.
Best Ballet Jokes
21. A famous ballerina was doing an encore performance of Swan Lake when suddenly, in the middle of a fouetté, she heard a loud ripping noise. The dancer came to a halt and asked the audience, “Did anyone else hear my tutu tear?”
22. A ballet instructor was teaching her class how to do the perfect pirouette. She demonstrated one and said, “Now class, did everyone see my perfect pirouette?” One student raised her hand and said, “Excuse me, teacher, I think you have a bit of toilet paper stuck to your pointe shoe.”
23. An excited young dancer rushed up to her ballet teacher and exclaimed, “Ms. Jane, Ms. Jane! I got the part of the dying swan in Swan Lake!” The instructor smiled and said, “That’s wonderful! But just remember, it’s dancing, not method acting.”
24. What did one ballerina say to the other? I overheard Clara talking about me behind my back… arabesque!
25. A ballet dancer walked into a coffee shop and ordered a grande latte. The barista asked, “Would you like that with two percent milk?” The dancer scoffed and responded, “Um, I’ll take it with a hundred and ten percent milk, thank you very much.”
26. Why was the prima ballerina late for her rehearsal? She got stuck in trafic.
27. What’s a ballerina’s favorite kind of bread? A bun! (Bun = chignon hair bun that ballet dancers wear).
28. Why did Susie get kicked out of ballet class? For touching her toes léotard.
29. A dancer went up to her ballet instructor and said, “Ms. Jane, I’m thinking of quitting.” The teacher responded, “But why? You have so much potential!” The dancer replied, “I’m just not very fond of the after-barre parties.”
30. How do ballerinas party after performances? They turn up the bass… barre!
31. Why can’t you tell a joke to a ballet dancer while she’s performing? Because it might make her corps (corps de ballet).
32. What do you call a ballet dancer who takes every chance she can get? An opportuniste.