Armadillo Puns
- What do you call an armadillo that got run over by a car? Road-a-dillo!
- Why don’t armadillos make good pets? They’re too hard to leash and collar-dillo.
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? To get to the shell station.
- What do you call an armadillo wearing a tutu? A ballerina-dillo.
- Why don’t armadillos get cold in the winter? They’re equipped with central armadi-heating.
- Why can’t armadillos keep secrets? They’re terrible at keeping things under their shell.
- What do you call an armadillo who works as a cook? A grill-a-dillo.
- Why did the armadillo get kicked out of class? He was being too shell-fish.
- What do you call an armadillo who loves music? A band-dillo!
- What do armadillos like to drink? Hard shell-tas.
Armadillo One-Liners
- I went to the zoo and saw an armadillo, it was hard to spot between a rock and a hard shell place.
- Never try to unroll an armadillo, it won’t end well.
- Armadillos may have thick skin but their feelings are easily hurt.
- Armadillos always bring extra protection with them.
- You can’t judge an armadillo by its shell.
- Armadillos give the best hugs, their shells really protect you.
- Be kind to armadillos, they have enough on their plates already.
- Armadillos know how to keep their cool in hairy situations.
- Armadillos aren’t great climbers, they have trouble getting a foothold.
- Armadillos look out for one another, they stick together like family.
Best Armadillo Jokes
11. What do you call an armadillo who plays guitar? Aarma-dillo!
An armadillo named Carl loved to play guitar. His favorite songs to play were shell and roll classics from the 50’s. Every weekend Carl would get together with his armadillo friends and they would jam all night long. People came from all around to listen to Carl aarma-dillo’s sweet guitar licks. He wasn’t very good at first but eventually became a decent player. Carl hoped to keep getting better at the guitar so one day he could cross over from shell and roll to armadillo metal.
12. Why don’t armadillos ever win staring contests? They blink too much.
Armadillos are notorious for their terrible staring abilities. Their beady little eyes simply cannot stay open for long periods of time. Scientists have studied this phenomenon for years but have yet to pinpoint the exact reason. Leading theories cite armadillos’ dry eyes or their sensitivity to air currents blowing into their eyes. Whatever the reason, you can be sure an armadillo will lose a staring match every time. They blink far too frequently to ever outlast a human opponent. So if you ever find yourself locked in an ocular showdown with an armadillo, rest assured your victory is all but guaranteed.
13. What do you call an armadillo who solves mysteries? Sherlock Dillo.
Sherlock Dillo was an armadillo renowned for his unparalleled detective skills. Whenever there was a mystery that needed solving in the animal kingdom, he was the go-to ‘dillo for the job. Sherlock had a methodical mind, able to pick up on the smallest clues and piece them together to crack even the toughest cases. He wore a signature deerstalker cap and smoked a pipe while deep in contemplation. Sherlock was also equipped with his own laboratory where he performed experiments to analyze clues he discovered. Although odd at times, his quirky personality and unusual habits didn’t stop Sherlock Dillo from being the greatest detective the animal world had ever seen.
14. Why was the armadillo late to work? He got stuck in a traffic shell.
Bradley the armadillo hated being late for anything, especially work. But this morning was particularly bad traffic-wise. There was an accident that shut down the highway and caused all vehicles to be rerouted to side streets. Bradley kept hitting every red light while pedestrians slowly crossed the street in front of him. He tried taking a series of shortcuts but each route proved to be more jammed up than the next. By the time Bradley reached the office he was 45 minutes late. His boss was not pleased. Bradley explained he found himself in a traffic shell with no escape. The boss wrinkled his snout confused. “You know, a traffic jam but with shell instead because I’m an armadillo,” explained Bradley. The boss just shook his head unamused.
15. Why did the armadillo get sent to the principal’s office? For showing off his shell phone in class.
Bobby the armadillo just got the newest model shell phone for his birthday. He loved playing on it so much that he brought it to school to show his friends. In the middle of math class, Bobby discretely pulled out his phone to send a text. The kid next to him saw the colorful shell phone and yelled out “Cool, Bobby got a shell phone!” Before he knew it, the entire class gathered around Bobby’s desk to get a peek at his new gadget. The commotion quickly drew the teacher’s attention. She confiscated Bobby’s phone and sent him to the principal’s office for disrupting class. Bobby tried to explain it was all a misunderstanding but the principal said he should know better than to bring distracting devices to school. Bobby learned his lesson and now leaves his beloved shell phone at home.
16. Why was the armadillo fired from his job as a magician? He couldn’t keep anything up his sleeve.
Alvin the armadillo had dreams of becoming a famous magician. He was always practicing new card tricks and illusions. One day, Alvin landed his big break – a magic show at the annual Armadillo Association Meeting. He was so excited to finally perform in front of a real audience. Alvin planned out his entire act but right before the show, he realized he had no sleeves to keep his props in! As the crowd waited impatiently, he frantically tried taping items to the sides of his shell. But the tape wouldn’t stick and everything just clattered to the floor. The show was a complete disaster. Word got out about Alvin’s failure and he was promptly fired from any future magic gigs. He learned the hard way that being sleeveless has disadvantages for an aspiring magician.
17. Why did the armadillo’s friends throw him a surprise party? Because they wanted to shell-ebrate his birthday.
Arnie the armadillo did not usually like being the center of attention, but his friends decided this year would be different. For his 50th birthday, they wanted to throw him a huge surprise celebration. The invites said “Come shell-ebrate Arnie’s 50th!” Everyone got to the party early and hid in the kitchen. When Arnie arrived, they jumped out and yelled “Surprise!” Arnie nearly leapt out of his shell in shock. But he was smiling and laughing, truly touched they threw this shell-ebration for him. The party had all of Arnie’s favorite foods like insects on sticks and worm cake. At the end, they gave a toast thanking Arnie for being such a wonderful friend all these years. It turned out to be the best birthday Arnie ever had.
18. Why are armadillos terrible at playing hide and seek? They’re always easy to find because of their shells.
Billy armadillo loved playing hide and seek with his friends. One day, he convinced them to let him count first. After counting, Billy scoured high and low looking for his hidden pals. He checked behind trees, under rocks, even inside logs but couldn’t find anyone. Starting to worry they had ditched him, Billy suddenly heard muffled giggling coming from a nearby bush. He leapt in excitement and rushed over, pushing the branches aside to reveal his friend Chuck crouched inside. “Found you!” Billy shouted. Chuck burst out laughing saying “Yeah you found me alright! Not like it’s hard to spot any armadillo with these big obvious shells on our backs!” Billy’s heart sank realizing Chuck was right – their shells made hiding hopeless. From then on, Billy made sure he was always the one seeking and not hiding during games.
19. Why do armadillos make great counselors? They are always ready to lend an ear.
Armadillos are known for being excellent listeners. With those big flappy ears, they can hear problems from miles away! This makes them perfectly suited to being counselors and therapists. You can vent to an armadillo about all your troubles, and they will sit there nodding along compassionately. Their natural empathetic demeanor puts people instantly at ease. Armadillos offer their advice gently, never judging or dismissing your feelings. You will walk away from an armadillo counseling session feelingheard and understood. Their patient ears and caring nature make them ideal for lending an ear to those in need. So if you are ever struggling, don’t be afraid to open up to your local armadillo therapist. You will be thankful you shelled out for their services.
20. Why did the armadillo get sent to the back of the march? For playing his shell-o too loudly.
Jack the armadillo was playing shell-o in the local St. Patrick’s Day parade. The upbeat tempo of “Danny Armadillo” had the crowd jumping and clapping along. Caught up in the lively music, Jack started playing louder and louder. Soon his shell-o notes were drowning out the other musicians. The parade director had to pause the procession and tell Jack to stop shell-o-ing so loudly. “You need to tone it down!” he scolded. Jack was told if he couldn’t control his volume he would be moved to the very back of the march. Sure enough, within minutes the blaring shell-o was booming again. The director gave Jack the boot to the rear for his disruptive shell-o-ing. Jack didn’t mind though, he happily kept shell-o-ing away entertaining the folks at the end of the parade with his lively tunes.
21. How does an armadillo keep their car clean? With Armor All.
Bruno the armadillo cherished his vintage shell-mobile. He would spend hours painstakingly washing and detailing it. When the hot summer sun left his shell-mobile dusty, Bruno would break out the Armor All. He would apply the Armor All Shell Solution inside and out. The formula added a protective coating that sealed in the shine of Bruno’s shell-mobile. Bruno also used Armor All Shell Tires to make the tires glisten. The best part was the built-in Pretreat Formula that lifted dirt off Bruno’s shell easily. When Bruno cruised around town in his sparkling shell-mobile, other armadillos would stare in envy and ask what his secret was. Bruno just smiled and said it pays to use Armor All!
22. What is an armadillo’s favorite branch of the military? The Arma-dillo Corps.
Rick the armadillo dreamed his whole life of joining the prestigious Arma-dillo Corps. He trained for years building up the strength to carry the heavy armadillo armor required for battle. On his recruitment day, Rick showed up covered from head to toe in custom fitted armadillo armor plates. The sergeant inspected Rick’s shell, knocking on it to test its durability. After making sure the rest of his gear was secured properly, the sergeant officially welcomed him into the Arma-dillo Corps. Rick was proud to now be part of the unit known for rolling into action when deployed and always having each other’s backs. He spent the rest of his days serving alongside his fellow armored armadillo soldiers, ready to use their shells for protection whenever called upon to serve their country.
