Album Puns
1. I heard Taylor Swift is coming out with a new album about archery. It’s going to be called Bows and Arrows.
2. Why can’t albums get jobs? They have no skills.
3. What do you call an album that skips? A CD player with touring issues.
4. The rock band decided not to release their album on vinyl. I guess the records got scratched.
5. I entered my Spotify playlists in a music competition but they got disqualified. The judges said they weren’t album material.
6. Did you hear about the arrogant album? It was very full of itself.
7. I told my friend I was making an album about horses. She said, “You can’t be serious!” I said, “Neigh, I’m not horsing around.”
8. The 80s rock band released a greatest hits album called Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.
9. I entered my reggae album into a contest, but it got disqualified for having too much weed in it.
10. The country singer released an album about farming called Crop Tops and Cowboy Hats.
Album One-Liners
11. I guess you could say my Spotify playlists just aren’t up to album standards.
12. My friend’s album was so pretentious, it refused to be stored with all the other albums.
13. I was going to buy my aunt a Whitney Houston album, but I decided not to jinx anything.
14. My friend’s synth-pop album was so experimental, even the instruments didn’t know how to play it.
15. I entered my album of cat sounds into a contest, but apparently it wasn’t music to the judges’ ears.
16. I made an album of silly sound effects but couldn’t figure out what genre to classify it as. I guess it defies categorization.
17. My dad’s album only plays Halloween music. It’s both a trick and a treat.
18. My friend’s album was pressed on an old vinyl record he found at a thrift store. Let’s just say it has some ghost writers.
19. I entered my album of upbeat ukulele songs into a contest, but I guess it wasn’t heavy metal enough to win.
20. My friend bought an album that smelled like dirt. We told him to return it because it was clearly a bootleg.
Best Album Jokes
21. I tried to record an album about archery, but the recording studio didn’t have the right equipment. Apparently I needed to bring my own bows and arrows!
22. My friend wanted to release his album on 8-track tapes because he thought it would be more authentic. We told him that while 8-tracks might be vintage, having any listeners would be even more retro.
23. I entered my album of whale noises into a music competition but lost to a guy beatboxing the entire time. I guess my songs just couldn’t compete with his orca-strations.
24. My uncle’s album only had one song on it, featuring himself on ukulele singing about ukuleles. When I asked why, he said it was his youke album.
25. I made an album featuring the sound of pasta being cooked. Critics say it’s rigatoni-rific, but sales have been rotini so far.
26. My friend wanted to press his album on old X-ray film to make it seem more punk rock. We told him that was a terrible idea and he should just record the songs first before getting ahead of himself trying to be cool.
27. I entered my cat’s meows into a song remix contest, but apparently the judges didn’t think it was music to their ears.
28. I recorded myself beatboxing about sandwiches and entered it into a music competition. Sadly, the judges ate up my competitors’ songs instead.
29. I made an album of classic rock songs played on a banjo. Critics say it’s music to pluck by.
30. My friend wanted to make an album promoting positivity, but he couldn’t figure out whether to call it “You Can Do It” or “I Believe In You.” So he just named it “Thanks for the Encouragement.”
31. I entered my album full of upbeat Ukulele songs into a music competition, but I guess judges thought it wasn’t heavy metal enough.
32. My friend made an album about different pasta shapes. The songs were pretty good but sales have been rotini so far.
33. I recorded myself beatboxing about different sandwiches. Sadly the judges ate up my competitors songs instead.
34. My uncle released a youke album featuring himself playing one ukulele song about ukuleles. When asked why, he said it was his youke album.
35. My friend wanted to release his album on vintage 8-track tapes. We said that while 8-tracks are retro, having any listeners would be even more vintage.
36. I entered my album of whale noises into a contest but lost to a guy beatboxing the whole time. I guess my songs couldn’t compete with his orca-strations.
37. I made an album of pasta cooking sounds. Critics say it’s rigatoni-rific though sales have been rotini so far.
38. My friend’s album was so pretentious it refused to be stored with other albums.
39. I entered my cat meows into a remix contest but apparently the judges didn’t think it was music to their ears.
40. I told my friend I was making a horse album as a joke. She said, “You can’t be serious!” I replied, “Neigh, I’m not horsing around.”
41. My dad only listens to Halloween music. His album collection is both a trick and a treat.
42. My friend found an old record and pressed his album onto it. Let’s just say it has some ghost writers.
43. I made an album of silly sound effects but couldn’t figure out what genre to call it. I guess it defies categorization!