Uhaul Puns 1. I wanted to rent a Uhaul truck, but they were all booked up. It was an unfor-truck-nate situation. 2. I was hoping to move into my new place today, but the Uhaul I reserved got stalled. I guess my move will just have to truck on without it. 3. When I returned …
Margaret Cooper
Today Show Puns 1. I heard the Today Show hosts were going to do a segment on clocks. I guess they wanted to talk about Alarm Clock News. 2. The Today Show studio got a new air conditioning unit installed. I heard it was to keep Matt Lauer nice and Al Roker. 3. Savannah Guthrie …
Titanic Puns (15) 1. I heard the band on the Titanic kept playing even after hitting the iceberg. I guess they just went with the flow. 2. The Titanic’s captain tried to sneak on a lifeboat but they made him walk the plank. 3. The Titanic was supposed to be unsinkable, but it turns out …
Time Travel Puns (15) 1. I tried to organize a time traveler’s convention, but no one showed up! 2. My friend claims he can time travel, but I think he’s just stringing me along. 3. I was going to time travel to last week, but I’m running a bit behind. 4. I bought a device …
Chevy Puns (20) What do you call a Chevy that runs on water? A hydro-vette! Why don’t Chevys like going to the beach? Because they don’t want to get sand in their truck! Why did the Chevy go to the gym? It wanted to work on its truck! What did one Chevy say to another? …
No Arms No Legs Puns (15) 1. I once knew a man with no arms and no legs who got a job at IHOP. He was the best pancake flipper they ever had! 2. My friend with no limbs loves playing Scrabble but he’s not very good at it. He just can’t get a hand …
Crab Puns 1. Don’t be shellfish, share some crab with me! 2. Crabby patties are the signature dish at the Krusty Krab restaurant. 3. Make sure to butcher crabs humanely, don’t want them to suffer. 4. Crabs move sideways because it’s wrong to walk backwards in life. 5. Crabs like to pinch, but it’s wrong …
Magnet Puns I used to work at a gym but got fired for misconduct. I guess I repelled the manager. Our fridge magnets are so strong they’re practically glued on. You could say they have a very attractive personality. I entered my pet magnet in a talent competition. Despite a rocky start, it ended up …
Baker Puns (20) I knead to tell you about my new bakery puns. They’ll really rise to the occasion. What do you call a baker who works quickly? A whisk taker! Why was the baker fired from his job? He was caught loafing around. My friend got a job at the bakery but said he …
Art Puns I tried to draw a circle but it ended up looking oval. I guess I need to work on my art skills. My friend got mad when I called his abstract painting garbage. I told him to relax, it’s not my fault he doesn’t understand art. I entered my macaroni art in a …