ID Card Puns (15) I tried to use my library card as ID to get into a bar. The bouncer said, “Sorry, no books allowed.” Working as an ID checker is not my dream job, but it will get me through the door. I lost my ID card, but I’m not too worried. My identity …
Donald Ward
Dumbbell Puns 1. I was feeling weak, so I started lifting some dumbbells. It was a weighty decision, but I’m pumped about getting stronger. 2. My friend said she uses dumbbells to tone her arms. I said, “That sounds dumb, bell.” 3. I asked the trainer if we could use lighter dumbbells for our workout. …
Reindeer Puns 1. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? I have no eye deer! 2. Why was the reindeer late to work? He got caught in a snow traffic jam! 3. Why don’t reindeer like fast food? They prefer fast hoof! 4. Why are reindeer feet so wrinkly? From wearing their antler …
Math Teacher Puns 1. I heard the new math teacher really knows how to multiply problems. 2. The math teacher was feeling angled when her students kept making obtuse jokes. 3. The geometry teacher was feeling well-rounded after learning some new shapes. 4. The algebra teacher was totally stumped by her student’s problems. 5. The …
Werewolf Puns (30) 1. What do you call a werewolf who works as a gardener? A were-florist! 2. Why don’t werewolves ever win any sports competitions? They don’t like taking home the silver medal. 3. What did the werewolf say when he was asked about his favorite food? I really have a taste for meat! …
Twitter Puns I tried to come up with a Twitter pun but 140 characters wasn’t enough. What do you call Twitter in Germany? Twitler. Want to hear a joke about Twitter? Sorry, it’s too long—I’ll have to tweet it in parts. Did you hear about the new Twitter birdhouse? It allows birds to tweet anytime …
TikTok Puns I tried making TikTok videos, but they were really cringetok. I heard TikTok is developing a premium service called TikTop where only the best videos get promoted. My friend is obsessed with TikTok. I told him he should Tok less about it. Did you hear about the new social media app called ClikClak? …
Hairline Puns (15) 1. I asked my barber for a hairline like Lebron James. He said, “Sorry, I don’t do transplants.” 2. My friend got a hair tattoo to fix his receding hairline. Now he has a head full of hare. 3. I heard NASA is studying the trajectory of my friend’s receding hairline. They …
James Bond Puns (10) 1. I was feeling a little under the weather, so I drank some martinis and now I’m feeling shaken, not stirred! 2. Did you hear about the new James Bond movie set in Italy? It’s called From Russia with Lasagna. 3. Why does James Bond eat so many eggs? Because he …
Goose Puns What do you call a goose that flies upside down? A silly goose! Why was the goose embarrassed? It was caught with its down around its feet. What’s a goose’s favorite cheese? Gouda! How did the goose get arrested? It was caught honking under the influence. Why don’t geese make good teachers? They …